When the commercial for TV One’s Uncensored came on and Tamar Braxton said the words “I’m not angry I’m hurt”…
According to the latest temperatures, I think it’s safe to say that cuffing season has or is about to come to a close. There may be a few that are still going strong but for those that are now receiving mix signals here’s 5 ways to know that he is not interested.
Or should I say that he’s no longer interested which may only be because of the increased temperatures:
Women love to do one thing, I mean we love to do a lot of things but there is one particular thing that we just looovveee to do and that is: talk. Our brains were designed to make us the communicators. We talk to the kids, our man, the pastor, our supervisor, strangers, dogs, squirrels, and whoever else will listen.
And even though it’s a blessing to have this communicating gift as a superpower if used incorrectly it can be a curse. We talk so much that we talk to people that we shouldn’t talk to, we talk to people that we shouldn’t let into our inner thoughts.
We talk to those friends or that toxic man and wonder why we feel so isolated, misunderstood, or accepted and it feels like there is no one on our side.
The way to truly and honestly forgive a person is to pray for them. It’s a simple concept but because of all the memories, experiences, and emotions towards that person, it’s the hardest thing to do.
You know how hard it is to pray for someone that you absolutely cannot stand in real life. You know how hard it is to be in prayer and have to say their name out loud and tell God that you forgive them. Just having the conversation in prayer is difficult on its own. But sis, to have to pray Lord bless them and give them great things and a great future and have your hand on their lives, now that’s a whole ‘nother level of difficulty. It’s also a whole ‘nother level of maturity.
You may be reading this thinking that this task is easy, you may even think I’m going to go pray right now and list everyone that hurt me so that I can forgive them and move on. But please know that once you start speaking out loud the emotions and memories are going to flood back.
We tend to think that men want the same things in a relationship as we do. So we go into relationships doing these things for our men because we know for a fact that he would like it or we think and assume that because we like it, he’ll like it.
But men and women are not the same and what women love to hear is not what a lot of men would tell you they what to hear.
As I get older I realize that your response to what life throws at you matters more than what happens to you. Here’s another way of saying it, what happens to you is being used to show you who you are.
So for example, if your frenemy says something to you to trigger you to “pop off”, how are you going to respond? Or when your less favorite person is blessed with what you’ve been praying for in a way that was meant for you to see it, what is your response?
As women, we tend to struggle with one word, NO. It’s funny how as a child we learn this word but as we grow up this word brings a sense of shame and guilt along with it.
To be honest, no is a complete sentence. Technically, if I wanted to end this blog post right now, I could most definitely end it right there.
I’d love to use the excuse that it’s because of the cold weather, the grit and hustle, and the rudeness of Detroit that causes this problem. But it’s not just a Detroit issue, we as women sometimes take the man’s role in a relationship throughout this country.
There are multiple reasons why this happens:
1. Men aren’t living up to their role
2. Society issues
3. We’re raising boys not men
4. Because mama was single and that’s all you saw so you push men away
5. You don’t believe you deserve a great man or relationship
Today I thought I was defeated. I thought that I was low, I thought that there is no chance of me winning this. There’s no chance of me overcoming this mountainous problem with low resources, empty-handed, and little to no confidence in myself. These are the negative things my mind tells me, these are the thoughts that stem from the fear that creeps up in weak moments and I start to believe them. And then I listened to Priscilla Shiver’s sermon and in that sermon, she told me that I serve a victorious God that fights my battles and Sarah Jakes told me that God works with your empty-handedness.
One reason why women end up unhappy in a relationship is that we don’t set expectations. For some women, we set expectations, get comfortable, and let our expectations go by the wayside.
When I say expectations, I’m speaking about those things that we want our mate to do rather it be to take care of our cars (so that we don’t have to), write little love notes, hold the door open for us, keep fresh flowers in the house (because you love flowers), or maybe even to help around the house (because you work just like he does).