Girl Talk: My Truth, When The Encourager Loses Her Encouragement


Once upon a time, there was a girl that had big dreams, goals, and aspirations. You couldn’t tell her that life wasn’t about to take off for her. Throughout her twenties, she just knew that if she kept a “can’t stop won’t stop” Diddy attitude at all times, she would have everything she ever dreamed of.

Then life happens and she had a baby, she struggled, she didn’t know if the lights would be on some days. She would be in situations where she just hoped that she could make it home from work because the gas light was on and she had no money to purchase gas. Eventually, the relationship ended and the fighting between parents began.

Along the way, she thought she realized what she wanted to do with her life. She thought she figured it out and finally, she could make it out of struggle. She held on to those words they say in church, you know those words like “weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning” “I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me” “If God is for me who can stand against me”. Yes, those words of encouragement that are told because we love Jesus and we believe in His word.

But life happens in cycles and seasons, in Ecc. 3 it clearly states that there is a time for one thing to happen and a time for another. We live in these seasons of life that consist of “a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to mourn and a time to dance” (Ecc. 3 NIV paraphrase)

We are told about those great times and everyone wants to focus on those words like “joy”, “dance” “harvest” without realizing that there are words like “mourn”, “sow” “weeping” oh and that word “suffering” has to come beforehand.

So what I’m saying is that you have to go through something, learn something, or be transformed by a season before stepping into your next one. Oh, but we don’t focus on that part much, we’re taught to just believe, have hope, keep your eyes on the prize, fight through, keep pushing. And then life hits you dead in the face, breaks you to pieces, and you are left there once again trying to figure life out.

So back to the story, she goes on and gets her life together (so she thinks), a few years go by and everything seems to be peachy keen (until it’s not) and then here comes Jesus redirecting her path (gracefully) showing her how she hasn’t figured out what she wants to do with her life. Showing her how what she thought would be her career was not. It was just to put her in a building around other women to show her, her real purpose.

Oh, and while this was happening, her career and her relationship are falling apart and once again she is left with pieces as everything falls apart (again). She gets excited about knowing her purpose, she gets excited about getting this blog together to inspire and encourage women all over the world. But then life and finances happen again and once again here she is, in scattered pieces.

She listens to the encouraging words from others and wonders what is this all for? What is the point? She walks in her purpose but no one tells you that it’s a lonely road, no one tells you it may start off as a broke lifestyle for longer than you expect it to, no one tells you how draining it can be.

No one really glorifies the struggle of your purpose and tells you the pain and hurt that’s going to come to mold, shape you, and change you into the person you need to be to fulfill this purpose that is within you. The tears you are going to cry when you need your situation to change and nothing is changing around you. The emotional rollercoaster that is going on within yourself that you push down and subside so that you can put others issues in front of your own.

I want to blame it on the 5 ways to do this and the 10 ways to see a change that microwave society that we now live in. But no matter where it started, I’m over the fake and ready for the truth. I’m over the smoke and mirrors, the highlight reels, the carrots in front of my face, and the encouraging feel-good words that aren’t changing my life situation.

I love to encourage, that is who I am, but what happens when the encourager loses her encouragement?

Leave a Reply